Corpalis
by G4rrusVakarian
Summary: Part 1.


10 years post war

"We're sorry but there is nothing we can do. Corpalis syndrome is very rare and doesn't get much funding. Sadly. The only thing that we can do make sure that you're comfortable. We're sorry."

Garrus was never afraid to die. He had come to terms with it along time ago. During the war it was something that came with the job. He knew that if someone dies you had to move on, and he had, for the most part. Shepard was the only person he couldn't seem to move on from. Their relationship was the most important thing that had ever happened to him. The day her body was found under the rubble, was the same day he with he wished he would have said more, opened up more than he had. Told her that he loved her and wouldn't let anything happen to her. But something did happen, out of his power. He tried his damnedest to make it within his power though. stabbed James in the leg when he was dragging Garrus into the Normandy. Just so he could reach out for her again, be a little closer to her as she ran for the beam.

Then they crashed on that god forsaken planet. Three months they were stuck there. They were lucky enough to be able to send a distress signal and were picked up by an Alliance crouser. They were taken back to earth, and treated for malnutrition and dehydration. And when he was released he immediately join the clean up crews to help clear rubble and try to find possible survivors.

Two months passed before he was contacted. A call came in stating that one of the teams had found someone who could be Commander Shepard, and that they needed somebody who could identify the body. Charred, burns covered every inch of the body, hair burned off. Only one distinguishing mark. The bundle of scars on the neck. The spot he bit her in during their encounters. Armour melted into the skin unable to see all the other scratches and scars left by him. He knew and just walked away. He couldn't look to long just long enough to confirm. He heard one of the men behind him whisper "Fuck. God damnit. Someone call the alliance, we found her."

Garrus didn't go back to camp. He found a secluded spot and just sat. Didn't move and wasn't really thinking about anything. Only noticing the complete numbness that had come over him. But only just. The world around him darkened as the sun fell behind the horizon. The world around him blurry, unable to focus his sight. The sound of crying filling the air, not wanting to notice that it was himself making the sounds. Not wanting to admit that without her he was lost. He knew that she wouldn't want to see him like this, but the thought of being without her was too fresh. He never would fully recover from the loss. The only light, at the time extinguished.

8 months after that day the relays were repaired enough to allow people to return home. Palaven was not a great sight to see. The destruction parallel to Earth's. With Victus stepping down as primarch Garrus was appointed the position. With what he had done during the war, he was promoted to the second position and was guaranteed the position when Victus died or stepped down. So the second he hit Palaven's surface he was escorted to one of the most intact building left and was told by Victus himself what was happening and congratulated Garrus then left. Victus went back to his old position of General, just because he hated being primarch so much.

Garrus wasn't happy about being primarch either. Not mad, but sad, only remembering what Shepard had said to him, just after he joined her yet again. "_Primarch Vakarian, I could get used to that." _He couldn't believe that he even got to the spot he was in now. He remembered something that his father had told him. "_If you follow that spectre, you will never amount to anything other than being a pawn for her."_ Garrus chuckled at how dead wrong his father was.

2 years later Palaven was beginning to shape up. Most people weren't living in tents or half destroyed barracks. Relations with the other races were as solid as ever. They had the hierarchy figured out again, and there economy was doing great. One day he was sitting in his apartment , going through the reports for the day, when a knock at his door had startled him and a box was left at his door. When he poked his head out of the door he only saw the figure of James Vega walking down the hall to the steps waving back to him. He knew that if someone like James was sent to personally to deliver this, it was something very important.

Garrus sat the box down on his table, pondering what could be in it. He decided that the best to figure out what was in it, was to open it. Slowly the tape came off and the box was open. A small envelope sat on top of a smaller box, that said 'read me'. The envelope contained a small hand written letter inside.

_Mr. Vakarian contained inside of the box, are Shepard's ashes. They have been on display at the Alliance headquarters for almost three years now, and I decided that they should go to someone who could appreciate them more than random onlookers or myself could. Along with the ashes there are some personal effects of hers collected from the Normandy. Along with her personal items there is a datapad that had your name on it, that is also included in box. I am personally sorry for not getting these to you earlier. There were a lot of people fighting me on giving them to her closest friend and lover. _

_Admiral Hackett._

He knew what the datapad had in it. It said how much she loved him but because of their rule, she was never allowed to say it out loud. With that he opened the smaller box, and took out a small porcelain vase with the customary red on, white on, black stripe painted onto one side of it. One the neck there was a chain wrapped around it. The chain had one of each of their dogtags. Hers grey gun metal and his painted blue, or was painted blue. Most of the paint was chipped off or completely missing. Only small specs of the paint remained. He placed the vase on the mantle, then sat and stared at it. He held his own set of their tags in his hand. Remembering the day they had decided trade a single tag of each others.

They made a rule to never talk about the future or at least not the future they couldn't control. Which mission to go on next, when to go to the Citadel, when to see each other things like that were allowed. But what would happen after the war if they made it to that point was off limits. They made a promise to each other. If they both made it through this hell, that they would try this for real. They knew that they loved one another but they wanted to have a real relationship. Not one that could end with a bullet to the head. They wanted to just live in peace. Garrus had decided to do something that Turian couples do when one is sent on assignment. He took her tags from her neck and held them for a second before doing the same for his. Undoing the clamps on each chain and taking one of the tags off of each. Then placing them on the other, and was then replaced on their necks. Then the promise was muttered.

"_I promise that after this war, I will be with you. I promise that we'll move in with each other, and after that if we decide that we'll work out without a war on. I'll marry you and have you accepted into my clan. I mean you will probably have to get the marks, but you'll still be as beautiful as ever."_

"_And i'll promise to do the same. Garrus? I'm scared."_

"_I know. Me too."_

Another two years pass and Cipritine is almost complete. With the help of the Krogan, the clearing of debris was faster than expected, and buildings were put together so quick that entire blocks of residences could go up in a week. And entire skyscrapers would go up in a month. It was amazing to watch. Garrus didn't want to be primarch anymore though and one day he stepped down. The next was immediately appointed, and Garrus fell off the grid for about a month.

After that month he had decided that he wanted to have the family, Shepard and himself had talked about just before the end. He went to the adoption house and after filling out paperwork and jumping through hoops, he finally adopted two kids. A boy named Nexus who was 7 at the time and a girl who was named Jaen and was 6. Garrus had also decided to move into a proper residence, to accommodate the family he had now started. He was instantly in love with the kids, they were able to fill a hole in his heart. Shepard being gone could never be filled, but completing something she had wanted to do, helped. A lot more than he thought. For almost three years he took care of his kids. Sent them to school, helped with their homework, played with them, they were a new light in a dark room. Until he got sick.

"We're sorry but there is nothing we can do. Corpalis syndrome is very rare and doesn't get much funding. Sadly. The only thing that we can do make sure that you're comfortable. We're sorry."

When he was told that he had corpalis syndrome, his life came to a complete stop. He didn't want to see anyone or do anything. He tried to act normal around his kids, but anytime that he saw them he only wondered how he was going to tell them about it. He was an adult when he saw how it affected his mother. He was scared as an adult, he couldn't even imagine how a kid would deal with it. He ended up sending a message to his sister.

_Sol, I need you to come over. It's extremely important. And even before you get here, I'm sorry. _ _G._

Sol came over the next day. Just before Nexus, and Jaen got home from class. She asked about what he meant by '_I'm sorry'. _He sat on his couch not answering. From what felt like hours he sat thinking of a way to say that he had Corpalis. He had practiced how to tell her in the morning, but now that it came time to say it, his throat closed so tight he couldn't breath, not that he wanted to. He finally croaked out "_Sol… I have Corpalis. I likely only have about a year left, and probably only a month until my memory starts to slip. I'm sorry Sol, but I must also ask you something else." She had been silent only listening. "When I die... When I die, would you take care of the kids for me please?" Sol had sat in silence, until pure rage took over and she hit him. "THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO END. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FIND A MATE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DIE AT AN OLD AGE! YOU… YOu… you're going to die. Garrus you're going to die. Are you not scared? Are you not afraid?" _

"_Sol, I haven't been afraid to die for a long time. In fact i've accepted it as a fact of life, people die, there is nothing you can do about that. So, no i'm not scared or afraid… at least not for me. We were adults when mom died. I don't know how kids will react to it." _


End file.
